random post.

May peace be upon all of you readers,

Aku bukan baik. tapi, aku cuba berubah. Alhamdulillah. Dalam setiap kepahitan, ada manis nya. Banyak yang aku belajar sejak kebelakangan ini. firstly, i dont usually blog in malay. but this is my first trial. maybe i can express more thoughts in malay.

banyak benda yang aku belajar sejak 2011. sejak habis zaman persekolahan.sejak kenal erti hidup dalam kolej. aku syukur kolej aku dekat dengan rumah. mak aku selalu kata "god answered my prayers, ima dapat kolej dengan rumah supaya dekat dengan mak. supaya boleh teman mak" sebenarnya bila teringat apa mak cakap, boleh nangis. boleh kata tiap kali hari jumaat je, rindu dekat mak tu memang kuat. aku sorang je lah anak perempuan mak.

sejak aku masuk kolej, aku perasan perubahan yang ada. i mean, surrounding aku. masa aku kerja dulu dengan kolej aku. macam langit dengan bumi. masa aku baru habis sekolah, lepas tu kerja kejap, aku rasa aku nak buat course tourism.sebab? aku suka nteract dengan orang. aku suka borak borak. pasal customer service tu, aku tahu nanti lama lama akan belajar sendiri. sebab sekarang bila cuti pun aku masih kerja kat tempat yang sama. its like my second home. bila aku dekat kolej. aku tak rasa aku jadi diri aku. well, to be honest, aku boleh masuk dengan few people je. mungkin sebab suasana dia. dia nak biasa kan bakal cikgu macam kami ni dengan sekolah kan. ye lah. kafe pun panggil kantin. waktu kelas sama dengan waktu sekolah. aku tak merungut ni. aku masih bersyukur. normal lah hidup cikgu macam tu. sebenarnya banyak kali aku rasa nak give up. but then i often tell my self "this is only your foundation year, i shouldnt give up so easily" lepas teringat muka mak, abah, abang abang dengan adik adik. telinga pulak selalu terngiang ngiang, terdengar suara sarah (kawan sekolah) selalu cakap masa dulu " ima, kita tau awak boleh jadi cikgu." that one ayat selalu kasi aku strength to keep on going. lagi pun, aku balik tiap tiap weekend. i make it a point, kalau sedih, pergi tempat yang boleh jumpa happiness. sebab, bagi aku, happiness is a state of mind. kalau aku fikir aku nak happy, aku akan jadi happy.

satu benda yang aku azam kan 2012 ni. aku nak jadi lebih baik. aku ada kawan lelaki yang aku kenal dari kolej, dia baik sangat dengan aku. banyak kali dah aku sakit kan hati dia. but, he is still there for me. padahal, aku rasa apa yang aku buat dekat dia memang tak boleh di terima akal. tapi sebab kawan aku ni penyabar, dia maaf kan aku. dekat dia ni lah aku cerita semua. eh tak ada lah semua. but he knows my stories. dia selalu ingat kan aku pasal tuhan. for that i thank you my friend. dia lah yang selalu suruh aku sabar bila aku marah marah ke emosi tak tentu pasal ke. lepas tu, masa aku kerja dulu, aku ada few friends yang aku kenal, yang to me layak sangat sangat jadi inspirasi. first, aliya, dulu dia classmate aku. siap duduk sebelah aku lagi tu. 2 tahun jadi classmate duduk sebelah menyebelah. masa kerja, kitorang masuk tempat sama. jadi kiranya aku nampak ups and downs dia. lepastu aku kenal family dia. being with her family selalu buat aku rasa terharu. she's some how inpires me. pandai pun ya, sopan pun ya. tapi satu benda yang aku salute sangat sangat is how dia taat dengan parents dia. aku selalu nak jadi macam dia. lepas tu, lagi 2 orang kawan aku sekarang dah belajar kat UIA.dua dua student law. dua dua banyak cakap macam aku.sorang nama dia pun aliya, masa aku kerja dulu, aku nampak macam mana dia bergaul. dia macam aku.tapi dia lembut sikit dari aku lah. aku ganas. tapi sejak dia masuk UIA, dia dah start berubah. tudung dia dah start labuh sikit. dah pakai handsocks nak cover tangan kalau pakai jubah pun. perubahan dia tu, menyebab kan aku pun pernah cuba buat macam tu. tapi aku ni, bila dah lama lama tu tudung singkat balik.aku sepatutnya istiqamah aku tau.lagi sorang kawan aku tu aisyah. secantik namanya, rupa pun cantik. macam najwa latif pakai braces. i've been seeing her every week, kitorang dah macam ada weekly meeting. dia memang dari sekolah agama. so pengetahuan agama dia memang ada asas yang kuat. ecah ni tak pernah dakwah kat aku. tapi, dengan apa yang dia cakap,aku harap sangat dapat jadi macam dia. Alhamdulillah, ecah sekarang macam kaunselor private aku. ecah ni tak kedekut ilmu. lepas tu dia dengan aku, kalau cakap mengalah kan bullet train.

hawa, kawan aku yang aku dah anggap macam kakak aku sendiri pun banyak berubah. benda ni yang buat aku rasa, kawan kawan aku semua dah cuba memperbetulkan jalan dorang. habis sampai bila aku nak sesat?

sebenarnya, aku nampak perubahan pada diri aku sendiri. tak banyak. tapi cukup untuk aku tahu yang aku dah matang sikit dari dulu. cukup untuk aku sedar yang aku mesti cuba untuk berubah kepada yang lebih baik. aku rasa 2012 ni, aku kena mula surround my self with supportive people, positive people, and religious people. hati aku memang tergerak habis nak berubah bila follow tweets anak auntie farah. mak aku memang selalu cerita pasal auntie farah. setiap yang dia kata tu mesti kena dengan aku. aku nak berubah. tapi, dari mana aku nak start?

when you fall, just get up.

there isn't a person in this world you should trust. learn to live with yourself because one day you'll see, you are all you have. you might have great friends around you. but really. are they really that nice? some people are so hideous. that they have to put on a mask. thats what we call fake friends.

me being 19. i am not perfect. i admit i am not always right. i might hurt people's feeling. but i do consider others. its just that sometimes my ego took control of me.

some times, when you makes mistakes, you tend to overlook things. well friends, one thing you have to know about me, i dont hold grudges. i will always say what is on my mind. it saddens me when i see all of you talking behind each other's back. why do you call yourself a friend?

kau tak layak panggilan kawan tu kalau kerja kau 24 jam back stabbing. kenapa nak mengaku diri kawan kalau kau sentiasa nak jatuh kan each other? bukan kawan tu maksudnya ada semasa susah dan senang ke? kenapa mesti ada sifat suke mendiskriminasi?

nevermind, guys, dont ever think i cant survive without you. trust me. i can. i just dont understand why things have to go this way? come on, one day you are going to be the one who leads. how are you going to lead if your mind set is like this. remember, i am not saying that i am right all the time. but do reflect on what you did. is it fair to those around you? is it even fair to yourself? and dear friends, you dont have the right to judge people.

i have been really patient for already few months. you bashed me. yet i stayed being your friend. but please ask yourself, sampai bila aku nak stay jadi kawan kau kalau kau sampai mampus nak perangai macam ni? aku sabar sebab aku tahu, no point staying mad, because one day i might need your help and you might need mine. its okay. aku maaf kan kau.

to heart, its okay, i told you, right? i need to be my own hero?

page 11 of 366

hello and may peace be upon you readers,

i have been MIA. for those of you who waited for my post. i am really sorry. i was a bit busy and i have no idea at all what to update. i am trying my best to write something so that you readers can be updated about my life. for past few weeks, i have been really busy. getting into new semester and adapting to new surrounding. its not that much but i was struggling to keep up with my resolutions and one of them is to be active is college. Alhamdulillah. first two weeks in semester went well. classes was okay. almost every lecturer reminded us of our mock exams. i know, i know. i am just so scared. i really have to start studying.

well anyway, i have keeping my self busy. and that is on purpose. i just need some time just me and my works. i need to straighten things up. but other than that, im just fine :)

azimah sharipuddin.

warm welcome for 2012.

hello and may peace be upon you.

oh yeaaaa. its 2012 people. im un-officially 19 and yes im one day older than yesterday but the digit changed :D

How i actually celebrated new year :

-tumblring.obviously famira was doing the same thing.

-blogging. was writing more craps just like the same ol nights.

-texting hafiy who's with a friend who's also as anti climax as in am. lepaking and watching football.

as the clock strikes 12. and the fireworks starts and stuff, i was secretly hoping that i can jump out of the house to watch the fireworks. but oh well, i was telling my self that one day i'll be watching fireworks with someone i love in Paris. dear future, i am really looking forward to that.

well anyway, me and famster was tumblring. and yeah, this is just a funny way to end 2011 and start 2012. tumblr, Y U NO let me celebrate new year? and i was texting hafiy and he told me stuff and WHOOPSY DAISY.its already 12. yeay happy new year everyone! may 2012 brings happiness and joy into our lives :)

okay kita suka mention 2 orang ni. muah muah!

eima

lets just say good bye

2011 is leaving us, this is just sad, too many things happened. i wish i can tell every single thing. heartbreaks. i mean every single second was bittersweet.

spent half of the year working.i actually improved my english. and i have my own way of communicating. met some awesome new friends. and yes, they're awesome.

then spend the other half of the year in college. yes teachers college. english and stuff. i'll be a teacher in 5 years time :)

in college. i learnt not only academic, but also hearts and feelings. i was sad and happy. i cried, and i laughed. i learnt to dive and i learnt that no matter how close you are a person, you cant really count on them 100% this is just because you are your own hero.

and sometimes, what you want isnt what you'll get. and what you get isnt really what you need. people can be so frustrating. but yes. thats life :)

i end my 2011 with eve of new years eve dinner with fams, fatin, daddy,hafiy,vincent and nabila. oh yeaahh my skybridge team, they're just so sweet :) i cant imagine having to go to klcc not going to skybridge. screw whatever people say, it feels like home.

oh in the end of 2011, i met someone from my past, hafiy azim. he was the head boy in my sekolah agama. and turns out to be my close guy friend at work. just writing his name to add him into the list of engineers in my life story. well hey hafiy, 2 years isnt that long. i bet it goes in a blink :B

and people, to be honest, i am not ready to go to class :|

eima

few days of holidays and stuff.

hello and may peace be upon you readers.

i haven't been updating my blog for a few days. i have been really busy. i mean really busy.yes i am having my semester break and i am back working. sky bridge, my workplace is a new place already. beautiful and just pretty :)

so the first week of my semester break, i went to kedah, my stepfathers place. trust me, i ate a lot. and i got over my phobia towards dogs and some lame shits. and i make friends with a rabbit which i called mr rabbit. oh yeah the dogs, i am not sure if every dog is like the ones in my step fathers place or is it just them. hey they're friendly. and i hate them when they actually menyalak infront of my room every night.pheww thats just annoying.

and that was my first time travelling alone all the way from butterworth to kl in a train. back ache and headache. i slept too much and too long. and the view was okay lah. but not much. oh yeah i baked some muffins with my mother's step daughter. eh sebenarnya , i was the one who did everything. she was just there accompanying me. duhh -.-

so right after coming back from kedah, i started working at sky bridge :) well, the usual happy people that i missed so much.i mean, the awesome people. so many new faces but i got used to it now. i mean, new volunteers which makes me the old ones. cehh, padahal aku lagi muda kot . and i only get to have one day of not working in a week just because the new kids belum masuk. yay! lucky me! now here's the perks of being in IPG :D oh yeaahh. every time nak tukar pass dekat PB, they'll be like, cikgu, nah kad awak. yes. because i used my student card for the pass. eleh, even abang hashim called me cikgu and he even asked his daughters to call me cikgu. just great.

so the operation has started and i've been working straight for few days. i am totally exhausted. i found out that i do not like being with a quiet person who ignores me or stuff. that just do not feel good. for my sisters, if you are reading this. please do not laugh. you know who i am referring to. i mean, you can be quiet and stuff, but at least respond to me when i talk to you. i feel like an idiot. seriously. and i figured that being a little girl is so much more beautiful than being a teenage girl.you tend to break your own heart when you are at my age. i mean, is it me or just the timing or just the society? because i find my self hurting every time. being a little girl, you can only get hurt when you fall down and scraped you knees or stuff. and yeah, one thing about being a little girl. everyone loves you :) i know because he're in workplace, i feel so much love. i am like every one's little sister. tak tahu lah perasan ke apa. but yes, i feel so much love. and here in OSB, i have my family (daddy,fatin,famira,fa and uncle barney :)) and i have my dudes here too :) i am a different person in my college and outside my college. aliya said the same thing. well you know why? i feel love. unlike in college. i dont feel anything.just competition.

well i talked a lot. i should go now :) bye.

azimah.

we should all stop and reflect.

Whenever other people make you feel so left out, rejected and unwanted. ignore. be who you want to be.

people, that's just so low to judge a person whenever they made a mistake.What happened to second chances? and dont you feel guilty? what, you have never made a mistake? were you born perfect? crap. you're not. think about it.what makes a girl become anorexic, well, because society claims that she's fat when she's skinny as hell. what makes a couple hate each other? the society tells them that they're not suitable for each other.people why the hell are you concern. let people live they're life. you're not the boss of them. i mean, advises are good. but not judgmental. we are not perfect. and so are you.

we all have to remember, everyone is insecure. and most of us are so insecure. that they would believe whatever society would say. WHY? why do have to judge? why do we have to be envious of each other? i thought everyone wants to be happy. why wont we give second chances.

people, believe be, how you see things will change the world. everything starts in you. you said you hate wars and stuff. why do you , yourself start a war? each and every one of us is different and special in our own ways.remeber that.

read janice mirikitani's poem, suicide note. that is how society can change a person's life and end a person's life. dont you feel guilty?

people, i am not perfect. i have hurt so many people. and i agree i did judge some people. i was wrong and i regret that. but its never too late to change. let's create a better tomorrow for us. lets create a better society.

oh also please watch this :)

azimah :)