dreamer

a random sad post.

2012-02-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum and good evening. it's 12.36 pm. and i think i just have to write down what i feel. well, i am supposed to write my journal, my descriptive essay and find my 5 articles. but instead i stopped and decided to blog instead.

have you ever felt the sudden urge to cry? i had so much fun few minutes before i find myself crying.i was laughing. having fun drawing and coloring.having poster colors on my hand.then i got back to my room. and suddenly feeling to sad. so depressed. well, i dont have much to do. just the descriptive essay. so i tried writing. it just doesnt work. i miss how i used to love descriptive writing. i remembered how mdm fazilah always tell me that she loves reading my essays and journal and how miss liana said i should stop writing 4 pages essay. i miss my creative writing days. when doing descriptive essays were just another random thing i do whenever i am bored.

now, my mind is blank. just this indescribable feeling. sudden sadness.i was reminiscing the past when i was still a schoolgirl. the rebel. the rule breaker. the girl who hates school so much. i want that back. i want those ugly days. i want to go through that again. i realized that i enjoyed life back then, those days being so disobedient taught me something about life. i've always learn things the hard way. being with piqa just now made me so emotional. i miss terendak so much. i miss melaka. thousands memory. and i suddenly wonder. 6 years ago, when i first register as a first former, i never thought of being a teacher.what makes me suddenly consider teaching? and when i was in the interview room for mock interview, i denied the fact that i'm thinking of being a teacher. now that i am in a teacher's college. i dont know if i did the right thing. i dont know if this is really what i wanted. well, its too late to go back. well, this is not a regretful post. just a random sad post. i know. it has no point at all. but this is what i feel. this is what i miss. this is what i want to go back to.

azimah.

random post.

2012-01-27T06:25:00.000-08:00

May peace be upon all of you readers,

Aku bukan baik. tapi, aku cuba berubah. Alhamdulillah. Dalam setiap kepahitan, ada manis nya. Banyak yang aku belajar sejak kebelakangan ini. firstly, i dont usually blog in malay. but this is my first trial. maybe i can express more thoughts in malay.

banyak benda yang aku belajar sejak 2011. sejak habis zaman persekolahan.sejak kenal erti hidup dalam kolej. aku syukur kolej aku dekat dengan rumah. mak aku selalu kata "god answered my prayers, ima dapat kolej dengan rumah supaya dekat dengan mak. supaya boleh teman mak" sebenarnya bila teringat apa mak cakap, boleh nangis. boleh kata tiap kali hari jumaat je, rindu dekat mak tu memang kuat. aku sorang je lah anak perempuan mak.

sejak aku masuk kolej, aku perasan perubahan yang ada. i mean, surrounding aku. masa aku kerja dulu dengan kolej aku. macam langit dengan bumi. masa aku baru habis sekolah, lepas tu kerja kejap, aku rasa aku nak buat course tourism.sebab? aku suka nteract dengan orang. aku suka borak borak. pasal customer service tu, aku tahu nanti lama lama akan belajar sendiri. sebab sekarang bila cuti pun aku masih kerja kat tempat yang sama. its like my second home. bila aku dekat kolej. aku tak rasa aku jadi diri aku. well, to be honest, aku boleh masuk dengan few people je. mungkin sebab suasana dia. dia nak biasa kan bakal cikgu macam kami ni dengan sekolah kan. ye lah. kafe pun panggil kantin. waktu kelas sama dengan waktu sekolah. aku tak merungut ni. aku masih bersyukur. normal lah hidup cikgu macam tu. sebenarnya banyak kali aku rasa nak give up. but then i often tell my self "this is only your foundation year, i shouldnt give up so easily" lepas teringat muka mak, abah, abang abang dengan adik adik. telinga pulak selalu terngiang ngiang, terdengar suara sarah (kawan sekolah) selalu cakap masa dulu " ima, kita tau awak boleh jadi cikgu." that one ayat selalu kasi aku strength to keep on going. lagi pun, aku balik tiap tiap weekend. i make it a point, kalau sedih, pergi tempat yang boleh jumpa happiness. sebab, bagi aku, happiness is a state of mind. kalau aku fikir aku nak happy, aku akan jadi happy.

satu benda yang aku azam kan 2012 ni. aku nak jadi lebih baik. aku ada kawan lelaki yang aku kenal dari kolej, dia baik sangat dengan aku. banyak kali dah aku sakit kan hati dia. but, he is still there for me. padahal, aku rasa apa yang aku buat dekat dia memang tak boleh di terima akal. tapi sebab kawan aku ni penyabar, dia maaf kan aku. dekat dia ni lah aku cerita semua. eh tak ada lah semua. but he knows my stories. dia selalu ingat kan aku pasal tuhan. for that i thank you my friend. dia lah yang selalu suruh aku sabar bila aku marah marah ke emosi tak tentu pasal ke. lepas tu, masa aku kerja dulu, aku ada few friends yang aku kenal, yang to me layak sangat sangat jadi inspirasi. first, aliya, dulu dia classmate aku. siap duduk sebelah aku lagi tu. 2 tahun jadi classmate duduk sebelah menyebelah. masa kerja, kitorang masuk tempat sama. jadi kiranya aku nampak ups and downs dia. lepastu aku kenal family dia. being with her family selalu buat aku rasa terharu. she's some how inpires me. pandai pun ya, sopan pun ya. tapi satu benda yang aku salute sangat sangat is how dia taat dengan parents dia. aku selalu nak jadi macam dia. lepas tu, lagi 2 orang kawan aku sekarang dah belajar kat UIA.dua dua student law. dua dua banyak cakap macam aku.sorang nama dia pun aliya, masa aku kerja dulu, aku nampak macam mana dia bergaul. dia macam aku.tapi dia lembut sikit dari aku lah. aku ganas. tapi sejak dia masuk UIA, dia dah start berubah. tudung dia dah start labuh sikit. dah pakai handsocks nak cover tangan kalau pakai jubah pun. perubahan dia tu, menyebab kan aku pun pernah cuba buat macam tu. tapi aku ni, bila dah lama lama tu tudung singkat balik.aku sepatutnya istiqamah aku tau.lagi sorang kawan aku tu aisyah. secantik namanya, rupa pun cantik. macam najwa latif pakai braces. i've been seeing her every week, kitorang dah macam ada weekly meeting. dia memang dari sekolah agama. so pengetahuan agama dia memang ada asas yang kuat. ecah ni tak pernah dakwah kat aku. tapi, dengan apa yang dia cakap,aku harap sangat dapat jadi macam dia. Alhamdulillah, ecah sekarang macam kaunselor private aku. ecah ni tak kedekut ilmu. lepas tu dia dengan aku, kalau cakap mengalah kan bullet train.

hawa, kawan aku yang aku dah anggap macam kakak aku sendiri pun banyak berubah. benda ni yang buat aku rasa, kawan kawan aku semua dah cuba memperbetulkan jalan dorang. habis sampai bila aku nak sesat?

sebenarnya, aku nampak perubahan pada diri aku sendiri. tak banyak. tapi cukup untuk aku tahu yang aku dah matang sikit dari dulu. cukup untuk aku sedar yang aku mesti cuba untuk berubah kepada yang lebih baik. aku rasa 2012 ni, aku kena mula surround my self with supportive people, positive people, and religious people. hati aku memang tergerak habis nak berubah bila follow tweets anak auntie farah. mak aku memang selalu cerita pasal auntie farah. setiap yang dia kata tu mesti kena dengan aku. aku nak berubah. tapi, dari mana aku nak start?

when you fall, just get up.

2012-01-18T00:59:00.000-08:00

there isn't a person in this world you should trust. learn to live with yourself because one day you'll see, you are all you have. you might have great friends around you. but really. are they really that nice? some people are so hideous. that they have to put on a mask. thats what we call fake friends.

me being 19. i am not perfect. i admit i am not always right. i might hurt people's feeling. but i do consider others. its just that sometimes my ego took control of me.

some times, when you makes mistakes, you tend to overlook things. well friends, one thing you have to know about me, i dont hold grudges. i will always say what is on my mind. it saddens me when i see all of you talking behind each other's back. why do you call yourself a friend?

kau tak layak panggilan kawan tu kalau kerja kau 24 jam back stabbing. kenapa nak mengaku diri kawan kalau kau sentiasa nak jatuh kan each other? bukan kawan tu maksudnya ada semasa susah dan senang ke? kenapa mesti ada sifat suke mendiskriminasi?

nevermind, guys, dont ever think i cant survive without you. trust me. i can. i just dont understand why things have to go this way? come on, one day you are going to be the one who leads. how are you going to lead if your mind set is like this. remember, i am not saying that i am right all the time. but do reflect on what you did. is it fair to those around you? is it even fair to yourself? and dear friends, you dont have the right to judge people.

i have been really patient for already few months. you bashed me. yet i stayed being your friend. but please ask yourself, sampai bila aku nak stay jadi kawan kau kalau kau sampai mampus nak perangai macam ni? aku sabar sebab aku tahu, no point staying mad, because one day i might need your help and you might need mine. its okay. aku maaf kan kau.

to heart, its okay, i told you, right? i need to be my own hero?

page 11 of 366

2012-01-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

hello and may peace be upon you readers,

i have been MIA. for those of you who waited for my post. i am really sorry. i was a bit busy and i have no idea at all what to update. i am trying my best to write something so that you readers can be updated about my life. for past few weeks, i have been really busy. getting into new semester and adapting to new surrounding. its not that much but i was struggling to keep up with my resolutions and one of them is to be active is college. Alhamdulillah. first two weeks in semester went well. classes was okay. almost every lecturer reminded us of our mock exams. i know, i know. i am just so scared. i really have to start studying.

well anyway, i have keeping my self busy. and that is on purpose. i just need some time just me and my works. i need to straighten things up. but other than that, im just fine :)

azimah sharipuddin.

warm welcome for 2012.

2011-12-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

oh yeaaaa. its 2012 people. im un-officially 19 and yes im one day older than yesterday but the digit changed :D

How i actually celebrated new year :

-tumblring.obviously famira was doing the same thing.

-blogging. was writing more craps just like the same ol nights.

-texting hafiy who's with a friend who's also as anti climax as in am. lepaking and watching football.

as the clock strikes 12. and the fireworks starts and stuff, i was secretly hoping that i can jump out of the house to watch the fireworks. but oh well, i was telling my self that one day i'll be watching fireworks with someone i love in Paris. dear future, i am really looking forward to that.

well anyway, me and famster was tumblring. and yeah, this is just a funny way to end 2011 and start 2012. tumblr, Y U NO let me celebrate new year? and i was texting hafiy and he told me stuff and WHOOPSY DAISY.its already 12. yeay happy new year everyone! may 2012 brings happiness and joy into our lives :)

okay kita suka mention 2 orang ni. muah muah!

eima

lets just say good bye

2011-12-31T05:24:00.000-08:00

2011 is leaving us, this is just sad, too many things happened. i wish i can tell every single thing. heartbreaks. i mean every single second was bittersweet.

spent half of the year working.i actually improved my english. and i have my own way of communicating. met some awesome new friends. and yes, they're awesome.

then spend the other half of the year in college. yes teachers college. english and stuff. i'll be a teacher in 5 years time :)

in college. i learnt not only academic, but also hearts and feelings. i was sad and happy. i cried, and i laughed. i learnt to dive and i learnt that no matter how close you are a person, you cant really count on them 100% this is just because you are your own hero.

and sometimes, what you want isnt what you'll get. and what you get isnt really what you need. people can be so frustrating. but yes. thats life :)

i end my 2011 with eve of new years eve dinner with fams, fatin, daddy,hafiy,vincent and nabila. oh yeaahh my skybridge team, they're just so sweet :) i cant imagine having to go to klcc not going to skybridge. screw whatever people say, it feels like home.

oh in the end of 2011, i met someone from my past, hafiy azim. he was the head boy in my sekolah agama. and turns out to be my close guy friend at work. just writing his name to add him into the list of engineers in my life story. well hey hafiy, 2 years isnt that long. i bet it goes in a blink :B

and people, to be honest, i am not ready to go to class :|

eima

few days of holidays and stuff.

2011-12-09T23:10:00.000-08:00

hello and may peace be upon you readers.

i haven't been updating my blog for a few days. i have been really busy. i mean really busy.yes i am having my semester break and i am back working. sky bridge, my workplace is a new place already. beautiful and just pretty :)

so the first week of my semester break, i went to kedah, my stepfathers place. trust me, i ate a lot. and i got over my phobia towards dogs and some lame shits. and i make friends with a rabbit which i called mr rabbit. oh yeah the dogs, i am not sure if every dog is like the ones in my step fathers place or is it just them. hey they're friendly. and i hate them when they actually menyalak infront of my room every night.pheww thats just annoying.

and that was my first time travelling alone all the way from butterworth to kl in a train. back ache and headache. i slept too much and too long. and the view was okay lah. but not much. oh yeah i baked some muffins with my mother's step daughter. eh sebenarnya , i was the one who did everything. she was just there accompanying me. duhh -.-

so right after coming back from kedah, i started working at sky bridge :) well, the usual happy people that i missed so much.i mean, the awesome people. so many new faces but i got used to it now. i mean, new volunteers which makes me the old ones. cehh, padahal aku lagi muda kot . and i only get to have one day of not working in a week just because the new kids belum masuk. yay! lucky me! now here's the perks of being in IPG :D oh yeaahh. every time nak tukar pass dekat PB, they'll be like, cikgu, nah kad awak. yes. because i used my student card for the pass. eleh, even abang hashim called me cikgu and he even asked his daughters to call me cikgu. just great.

so the operation has started and i've been working straight for few days. i am totally exhausted. i found out that i do not like being with a quiet person who ignores me or stuff. that just do not feel good. for my sisters, if you are reading this. please do not laugh. you know who i am referring to. i mean, you can be quiet and stuff, but at least respond to me when i talk to you. i feel like an idiot. seriously. and i figured that being a little girl is so much more beautiful than being a teenage girl.you tend to break your own heart when you are at my age. i mean, is it me or just the timing or just the society? because i find my self hurting every time. being a little girl, you can only get hurt when you fall down and scraped you knees or stuff. and yeah, one thing about being a little girl. everyone loves you :) i know because he're in workplace, i feel so much love. i am like every one's little sister. tak tahu lah perasan ke apa. but yes, i feel so much love. and here in OSB, i have my family (daddy,fatin,famira,fa and uncle barney :)) and i have my dudes here too :) i am a different person in my college and outside my college. aliya said the same thing. well you know why? i feel love. unlike in college. i dont feel anything.just competition.

well i talked a lot. i should go now :) bye.

azimah.

we should all stop and reflect.

2011-12-03T06:18:00.001-08:00

Whenever other people make you feel so left out, rejected and unwanted. ignore. be who you want to be.

people, that's just so low to judge a person whenever they made a mistake.What happened to second chances? and dont you feel guilty? what, you have never made a mistake? were you born perfect? crap. you're not. think about it.what makes a girl become anorexic, well, because society claims that she's fat when she's skinny as hell. what makes a couple hate each other? the society tells them that they're not suitable for each other.people why the hell are you concern. let people live they're life. you're not the boss of them. i mean, advises are good. but not judgmental. we are not perfect. and so are you.

we all have to remember, everyone is insecure. and most of us are so insecure. that they would believe whatever society would say. WHY? why do have to judge? why do we have to be envious of each other? i thought everyone wants to be happy. why wont we give second chances.

people, believe be, how you see things will change the world. everything starts in you. you said you hate wars and stuff. why do you , yourself start a war? each and every one of us is different and special in our own ways.remeber that.

read janice mirikitani's poem, suicide note. that is how society can change a person's life and end a person's life. dont you feel guilty?

people, i am not perfect. i have hurt so many people. and i agree i did judge some people. i was wrong and i regret that. but its never too late to change. let's create a better tomorrow for us. lets create a better society.

oh also please watch this :)

azimah :)

happy birthday deskmate/colleague/jiran universiti/forever friends/sisters.

2011-11-28T08:29:00.000-08:00

masa zaman sekolah kite deskmates kann? :')

lepas tu kite kerja kat petrosains same same kann? :D

aku sleepover rumah kau sebab na pegi terendak kan? :D

* ye pizza 2 kotak kite punye*

aku dengan budak budak petro lain datang awal sebab nak tolong kau dgn mak kau. sebab kite semuaaa family :D

aku dengan kau sampai bila tak boleh pisah. acane ? -,-

Dearest Aliya Huzaidy :)

this is your 18th birthday, i just want to wish you a very happy birthday!

just so you know, kau awesome walaupun kite selaluuuu gaduh :D

what is a friendship kalau tak gaduh kan? tak rock ah gituuw :B

you've been there for me kan kan kan?

we've been desk mates, colleagues, geng pasar malam kerinchi, and we've been like sisters to one another :)

we may not be bestfriends but i know kite goodfriends :') sobs sobs nak nagis kejap boleh?

sebenarnye, bile kau datang dengan emkay haritu, aku terharu sangat. i mean, hari yang sama aku baru lepas nangis teruk. korang macam my small happy pills :D tahu tak aku sayangg kau :D take care aliya, anything happen please know that im here for you :D susah2 jalan kaki pegi IPBA. i am always there :D

and and jaga diri kat UM, aku takde kat sana :'D ehehehe aku tengah cuti nii :D

lots of lavv, eima.

deskmate kau yang selalu annoy kau macam nak gile :D

late nite ramblings.

2011-11-24T07:55:00.000-08:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i tried to sleep. but i just can't. i have OSB training early in the morning tomorrow. but i can't sleep. so im stuck here blogging. that moment when you tried to sleep but you mind keeps on speaking so loud you just have to write it on a piece of paper or just blog it out. yep. that's right.

i was just thinking. me, i am 18 and its too early to think about this but, we can always dream right? and this is anyway a late night post so yep, im talking nonsense here. and mind you, i am a hopeless romantic.

one day, when i fall in love, i mean really in love. i want to be realistic. not some physical type of love. i want to be something that is from the heart. because i know it will be pure. even if it won't last forever, well i hope at least it made me see how wonderful love is, like others have been talking about.not some romeo and Juliet love, tho one that i'd die for you stuff. no. just some love, if you are dying because you're sick, i'll find a cure. and me being this stubborn, i will need someone who will accept me for who i am. i mean, the adamaya kind of guy? yep. him. and i want someone who will make me secure all the time. being with or without him. as in whenever his around, i know he'll protect me. and even if he's not around, i know he'll be there whenever i need him. i want to be really comfortable around him. i mean i want to be able to act silly with him and i need to know that he'll be my shoulder to cry on. and i just want to know if i can be myself around him. i want to feel that warm feeling whenever i receive a text message from him. the feeling that i get when i read a romantic novels, yes that warm feeling. and knowing that on the other line, he too was thinking about me. that makes me feels so appreciated. i know this is just too much. but anyone can dream. this is my dream. and one day i want it to be real. i want to wake up next to this man, knowing that everyday he loves me and i love him too.he'll be my husband :)

dont ask me why im posting about weddings and marriage and stuff. i dont know. been reading quite a lot lately. and so many things happened to me. and i think i watched adamaya way too many times. and yes i cried watching it every time.

well people. now that im sleepy.i shall bid my goodbye. and see you soon :)

eima.

and oh, this aint for anybody. just a post :)

hello bestfriend.

2011-11-19T07:10:00.000-08:00

hi, hello and may peace be upon you.

this is a post specially for my best friend :)

hello best friend. truth is, i miss you. i am sorry i didnt call you lately, i didnt even text you, i didnt Im you on facebook, i didnt even wallpost you. i didnt tweet you. okay my bad. i know you're way too busy to reply. which is why i didnt bother to even tegur you. im really sorry. i know we're too busy, you dactor in the making and me future teacher. you too busy with anatomy and stuff, me all these literature and stuff. we're going our ways. different paths but still that doesnt mean we should drift apart. i feel like i've missed a big part of your life, your college life. well, i miss having your shoulder to cry on. i miss having you you being the first one to call me when anything happen. i miss sharing laughters. im not good at acting as if im fine, well, i miss your sarcasm. shit, azureen musa i miss you :(

well hey, im going to kedah this end of november :) and im not going to melaka. i dont think so. well, i miss updating you about my life and i miss talking to you on the phone. i miss us updating eachother :) well, a lot of things happened lately, it obvious. well, i tweet a lot. but i miss those girl talks :') and i can see that you are very happy now. i can see your tweets :) i am really happy for you. heyy we've been best friends for almost 6 years :) i laviu and take care okay :) i'll come to melaka if you are willing to drive me here and there :D

its not that i dont care anymore.i just stop acting like i do.

2011-11-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you promise someone forever but it doesn't work out that way

you can count on me.still.

2011-11-10T20:04:00.001-08:00

i did not ask for much. i just want you to stand up for me when things go wrong. you said we're friends.well, that's what friends do right? i can't even look at your face. i feel so disappointed. who am i again to you? nothing. not friends.nothing. remember, friends are forever. but you can never be sure of your girlfriend. i'm not telling you to doubt her. but you know, feelings change. and when anything happens, friends are there to help you.i could not even speak to you yesterday because i was stunned. how could you just point fingers without asking why. was it really hard? if the thought of her being so sad bothers you. why does the thought of you own friend in trouble doesnt bother you at all. i admit i am not good in relationships.infact, i dont know anything at all. but one thing i know and somehow i believe in it. it doesn't last long. just so you know, i tried not to talk to you few times, because i wanted to make it clear to her, she's the one you're after. not me. and i'm here only standing as a friend. i can't force you to believe me. but i am still telling you this. yes, im jealous.i admit. but you're my friend. which is why i am happy whenever you're happy. remember i asked you to watch how i met your mother season 7 episode4. well, this is the reason.i wanted to prove to her a lot. she means a lot to you. but this is what i get?i dont know any other ways to tell you guys how sorry i am. i snapped and the silliest thing. i know i can talk things over. but i really can't face you . i remember every single thing you said yesterday and how it broke my heart to small little pieces. i guess im just another picture to burn. it's a lie if i would ever say that im fine without you. you're really close to me. i dont know if you think the same too. weel, i got a lot of guy friends. but they they're always there whenever i needed them. even if its in this situation, they ask me first. i admit it was my fault. but never pin point. ask around. better yet, ask me.

Azimah.

just a little note for you

2011-11-07T23:14:00.000-08:00

ever wondered why i stayed as a friend? well its because i believe things are gonna get better. honestly, the tioman trip, i never expected it to happen. i hate my self for actually agreeing to go with you. because i know, we'll create memories. and those memories are not easy to get over with. guess what, i am confused just as much as you are. i've been giving you silent treatments. why? well simply because i don't want to fall even deeper. because i know no one's down there to catch me. well, not you. and i thought of her feelings. i wouldn't want things to happen to me. do you how hurtful to know that your guy went to an island for a vacation with a girl who actually have feelings for him? no. you don't know. because you're not a girl. because no matter how she told you she's fine as long as she knows. trust me. she's not fine. deep inside, there is this tiny little insecurity haunting her. those what-if's. and no matter how you try to understand, it wont be the same. you're not a girl. you're not her.

and it was something when we were on the trip. no matter how you feel. well, i felt something. and im that stupid that it was perfect. it was not.im staying away from you. i wish i can tell you more. but i just cant. hope you understand. and im sorry ijust cant face you now :\

im not blaming you. i blame my little heart.

:(

2011-11-01T05:35:00.000-07:00

hide&seek.

2011-10-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

that something can be anything. it is too subjective.i am not sure where i stand in this story of yours. therefore, i shall never try to define the "something" here. but somehow, people make it pretty clear to me. friends shall just be friends. if that so. i will bow and say good bye :)

the dream.

2011-10-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you :)

went out to klcc, met some friends. we were talking when he suddenly asked,

"eima, what do you want in life? i mean, what do you want to achieve?other words, what is your dream?"

It got me thinking.the question haunted me. well, what do i really want in life? if i say i want to be rich, why? that is everyone's dream. then i started to find some explanation for my own answer. when i grow older, i expect my self to be maturer, wiser and with high level of patience. i want cute daughters and sons, i'll raise them up with love and care, i'll wake up everyday next to a gentleman who i am very sure that i love every minute seeing him. a gentleman who'll take care of me and my children.we'll be a happy family. i wont let a single thing ruin our happiness. i want a house with a big yard for my children and their toys. i want a huge bedroom for each of my children. so that they live comfortably :) i want a huge kitchen so that i can cook great meals for my family. i want a huge reading room. almost like a library for my family.knowledge is important you know. i want a huge study room for me, because one day, i'll be a great teacher, i would want my students to come over the weekend, and if they want to use the room, they are more than welcome to. i want to have religious classes on the weekend, for me and my family. and yes, we can certainly use the study room.i want a huge living room, so me and my friend can have tea on the evening.i want my house to be somewhere calming and soothing i want to have an orphanage, for the less fortunate. i want to help those in need. i want to tell them that there are people who care for them. when i become a teacher, i want to be a great teacher, the one my student would look up to. the one they would look for whenever they need someone to talk to. the one to inspire them. i might not know much, but they will always have my shoulder to cry on.i want to tell my student to accept one another as what they are. and to be for each other always. i want to teach them values of life. i want to change their perspective on life. i want to change the world.

how can i, from only being a daughter,student,friend be all these that i have said. how can i ever achieve my dreams? how can i ever go through few more sickening years to finally get my happy ending?

eima.

fragile.

2011-10-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

it's not my fault if i fall for you.not yours either.we're humans.we have feelings.

that night at the jetty. we were talking craps. i dont know, just craps.nothing really important. until your family called. it touches my heart when you talked to your little sister. trust me. i know how happy she felt. its the little happiness. i miss that. i miss when my brother called me just because he wanted to talk to me. its just adorable the way that you talked to your little sister. and the way you way you talked to your mother.

i dont know why, i started telling you about ma and abah and my broken little family.my imperfect family. i love em to pieces. honestly, i get so jealous when yours are too beautiful to tell. i have always wanted a family like that. maybe that is what makes us different. our upbringings. you and your beautiful family. me and my family. you and your surroundings. me and my different environment. honestly, i enjoyed being there with you that night. i dont know,its just calming. talking to you. telling you about me. i guess its because i know someone will listen to me. and knowing that someone is you, i felt happier. family seems to be so important to you. and that is one thing i adore the most. you were a friend i know i can count on. and thank you for listening to the craps i have been telling you. thank you for being there when you know you shouldn't.you're a great buddy :')

azimah.

tioman, i miss every bit and pieces of you.

shattered glass

2011-10-18T02:03:00.000-07:00

hello everyone, my name is Azimah and i have a confession to make.

"i believe i may have fallen for the wrong guy.wrong as in he's suppose to be my good friend.wrong as in he's taken. wrong as in i should have stayed away"

you might be reading this, i dont know, i dont care. but i really wish to tell you this. i know you knew the ugly truth. i told you that my self remember? well, be amazed. im about to reveal more secrets. remember i sang "deeper conversation"? well that's for you. and "dan sebenarnya"? that's for you too.this post? yeah, obviously, this is for you.

i was fine after watching HIMYM.all thanks to abang :') i mean, i know i can be a good friend.to you and to her.no i am not jelly of her.okay well, a little bit. but yeah, i'm happy when you're happy remember? and guess what? i told ma about you, i told her you are my close friend, but you have a girlfriend.and ma was like, dont lah be friends with people with girlfriend, nanti the girlfriend tak suke. oh as usual i tak dengar cakap ma, and i know that she knows im ignoring what she said.because for me, its not wrong at all to be friends with anybody, as long as they're not married, well then its fine. i know how much you love her, and it bothers you a lot if anything happen to her.its okay i get it.im acting all fine in font of you. god knows how i felt. i keep to my self. just because i know, if its going to happen, its going to happen. and so i wait.

you mister are so hard to read, no you and your kaum kaum.i wish there is a dictionary on how to read your "languages". or maybe "boys for dummies". well im just saying. i get confused with your actions mosst of the times. sometimes, i wish for explaination,

eima

dear heart,

2011-10-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

dear heart, stop being so sad. you are not lonely. you are not about to break.remember, you are the strongest.a guy is not worth your tears.and it is not the right time yet :')

painkiller

2011-10-03T01:23:00.000-07:00

i don't know if i'm strong enough to go through the pain.

hello brothers and sister!

2011-10-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

may peace be upon you,

SPM is just around the corner, and PMR is happening now kan kan kan? i am here just to remind my wonderful sisters and brothers at school to enjoy schooldays. it's true that i am no longer in school and i might not know what recently happen and stuff.but remember, i was once a fifth former who hated school so much.i have been through that emotional phase of life.i thought i wasn't strong enough, but look at me, i am somewhere doing something that i love. remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i know the pressure is building up.but imagine the days after that one month of exam.you'll have plenty of time to relax.
dear sisters and brothers, enjoy you schooldays before its over. you are going to miss it. enjoy studying in the library, enjoy using the makmal bitara, enjoy the air conditioned multipurpose dewan Budiman, enjoy running around with the monkeys.because after SPM, you are going to leave Terendak, and you can hardly find a time to go there. well, for the PMR students, after PMR, you'll still have MIGTY (they changed the name but im not sure what it is). that is the time when you can actually have fun. true it is tiring but in the end, you'll learn something. and that short course maybe the last course you will ever have in Terendak because some of you might move to MRSM PKP. being in another maktab is never going to be the same as being in Terendak. trust me. i am going to be a teacher in 5 years. Im staying in a college where Cikgu Hafizah once stayed in before she was a teacher. you can ask her how uncomfortable the place is.i will always choose to be in terendak. because hey, bilik korang yang untuk 4 orang tu, bahagi dua, yeah thats my room here for 5 people. sad? well, i accepted the fact that we dont always get what we want.dear adik adik, sabar lah for few years, enjoy school and you childhood. you can never turn back time.make the most of your time in terendak :)

good luck for form 3 2011 (especially lovely roommates masa akak form 4 , tira and mira and not to forget sabrina)

and SUPER GOOD LUCK to form 5 2011, be good and do your best!

love,

kak eima :)

truth be told

2011-09-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

im sorry.

i know you heard what my friends were talking about.i am terribly sorry.it's not your fault.its mine.because it is my feeling and it has nothing to do with yours. you were text-ing me as a friend.i took it wrongly.i am sorry.i shouldn't be overly excited.i shouldn't be emotional. because you don't care as much as i do.i shouldn't have feelings for you.because you wouldn't know. and even if you know, you wouldn't care. and even if you care, what will you ever do? i am just another ordinary girl who wishes upon a dream that will obviously be forgotten. another unimportant character in your life.yes, that i know.but if i could ask for one thing. i would ask you to stop being too nice to me.that'll just make me fall again.and i thought we're friends.i don't want to have bruises once reality hit me.

stupid fairy tale

2011-09-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

i can't blame you for what happened recently.i really cant. it isnt your fault.not even hers.its mine.stupid enough to believe in fairy tales.i have to keep telling my self, things like this never exist. miracles almost dont exist at all.stupid enough to tell my self, i am a believer.well, i believe in never ending dream.this will all turn into nightmares and will eventually freak the hell out of me.pathetic aint it? to be honest.i feel stupid.

my reasons to smile

2011-09-03T07:50:00.001-07:00

those boys froms school :) i miss em schoolmates :')
this is ze best guy friend :) and he is aliya's

okay we're the earliest . aliya pun tak tukar baju lagi :B

that's nabila the cutie and yes the host aliya :D semangat kan buat cupcake?

tak pandang camera :P

this is maksu :) *hidayah* lav her sebab dia mummy kita :)

these are the awesome people i met last december 2010.

and we're great friends :)

ni pun awesome jugak :)

yang ni comel. hihiii adi kata dia cakap macam cartoon :P auntie roza kate dia mistaken my for the eldest sister, kak farah :) oh that one, she's pretty and people kept on asking me "eh you adik farah?" ehee sorry tak laah, we're just pretty and awesome :P

anyway, million thank yous to aunty roza and uncle huzaidy and aliya and kak farah and little mr photographer, fikri comel for inviting us.and thanks emkay and syafiq for being the updaid drivers and maksu ,nabila, adi, mior,saeed,isfa,sidqi thanks for the great day :)

the eid post :)

2011-08-31T07:50:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you, to the muslim readers, selamat hari raya aidilfitri.

yesterday was the first day of eid yet it wasn't that festive to me.i was supposed to go back to Kuala Pilah with mum, and brothers. but the car broke down in the middle of the highway (Pajam)

while we were stranded in the middle of nowhere, my brothers were fooling around with their mercun and stuff while i was whining and grumbling. yes people, i have low survival skill.bear with it.i was trying to get internet connection and of course when you're stranded tepi jalan, where on earth should you get internet connection? im not that typical city girl who cannot live and survive in the wild. dont get me wrong. i was so eager to go back to kuala pilah. and when the car broke down, it brings ME down with it. buuuuuut one of my wishes came true, i once wondered how it felt being in a car yang ditarik a tow truck. it happened yesterday.it was almost like being in the dark ride petrosains.creepy! but yeah its fun. and sepanjang ze bad/sad incident i got my guy friend to teman me along the way.thanks bro :)

so today, its second day of eid.i woke up early in the morning to take a train to seremban. from seremban, akak kat fetch us and drove us to kampung parit. and that was my first house to visit this eid. kak kat's mum cooked nasi lemak for us. the sambal was superb! okay people, den oghang pilah, den makan bondo podas ni ha.den suko :)

then balik kampung.again, kak kat drove us back.terus attack dapur. then salam salam semua, maksu's food was great! i mean semua pedas and yummy :) i think i ate a lot today, though faiz the cousin perli me like crazy then i was like yeah right whatever dude, im eating anyway.LOL. and then masa petang abah came back from johor, auntie's place, with the adiks. weeee the monkeys are back! i love emmm muah muah :D hehe okay i dont know the purpose of me writing this, i guess i should stop and sleep.

till then, i love you readers, happy 54th independence day malaysians!

eima.

paling terharu :)

2011-08-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

hello and my peace be upon you .
its my 18 th birthday, and a coursemate,a friend gave me this e card. my god. its pretty aint it? i was like soo touched :')

and people, thanks for all the wishes. i could cry :D

goodbye 17

2011-08-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

in few minutes, i'll turn 18.YEAY! :)

AIM : better than ever!

nothing last forever.

2011-08-23T05:45:00.001-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you readers,

something crossed my mind while i was studying last evening.how long can a relationship last? i never believe that it'll last long. look around us.people breaking up, saying goodbye.it's all nothing now.even marriage could be very fragile.it used to be so pure,so genuine. and now, divorce and separating is some common thing in this world.everywhere.it's not fair you know, to those around you, to your children.they who understand nothing about relationshits have to bear with the consequences. imagine how hurt they would feel, growing up in such surrounding.going to bed listening to your parents fighting.crying yourself to sleep.blaming yourself over things you barely know about. then i started questioning myself, if marriage is really that unstable, what about engagements? boyfriends and girlfriends? best friends who planned to take it to the next level? well how about that? my almost 18 years of living. i had never been deeply in love. i mean, i do admire some. but never serious. relationshits-phobic? i might have that.i grew up feeling fat, ugly, and i have inferiority complex. but screw that, i know everyone deserve a happy ending.point is, how long will the happy ending last. is it really happy ending or just really a beginning of something.having all boys in my family, well, except for mum and me.i grew up sometimes being one of the boys. i have lots of guy friends. ironically, i never get how they think. guys, just some complex creature god created to complement us girls.seeing all my girl friends hooking up and completely drowned in love excites me. but it scares me to death to find out, it's not like how it is in those romantic movies. jauh api dari panggang. even when my guys friends hook up, those girls of theirs will feel so insecure and get jealous. i mean, come on girls. im not even interested in your guys. i've known them for too long to compete you for them. plus you need trust in relationshits. im here to be friends. not to kill you and steal your boy. im no maneater. the way i see is like, if marriage cannot stay that long, well, you do the math.what about silly puppy love?

love, eima.

birthday

2011-08-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

it's coming in 4 days. yes people. FOUR DAYS.96 hours. im excited. i mean, my first birthday in college. and kat said she's taking me out to celebrate.hehehee.and i wish for macaroons. boleh belanja tak ? oh no taknak yang harrods punya, mahal tapi tak sedap lansung.melayang duit aku.bread ties punya pun boleh :) and i wanna meet hawa for buka puasa, i miss her so much :) i miss my bestfriend azureen and yes i miss the bro, kamal aizat too!
mum called from kedah asking what story book do i want? lepastu i told her that i nk cecelia aherns or Nicholas sparks. so she was like okay. tiba tiba dapat message saying that si daddy tiri nak beli kan. i was like, okay fine buy me how to take care of your goat for dummies :P i was soooo sarcastic,sorry.anyway, i dont want much, i just want to answer my LDS quiz dengan cemerlang. that's the greatest birthday present for me :) i mean, i hate grammar.nuffsaid.

this 18th birthday, i just want to be better.andddd clever-er :) hehehe
okay im sleepy. better go to sleep :)

baby you got that right

2011-08-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

every little thing

2011-08-19T12:00:00.001-07:00

remember those small things you did? i felt like crying when the memories flashback right infront of me.curse you idiot. you broke my heart when you said you wont. heart breaker. dream-crusher.heartless.moody robot.i swear i dont ever want to see your face.

i am scared.i seriously am.

2011-08-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

hiiii im scared of next week.so scared that i could cry.i mean im not that good in grammar. see i have grammar mistakes all over my posts.not to mention spelling errors.im not that good.eima, dulu yang kau bangga English kau tu power sangat, campak tong sampah je.you still have a longggg way to go. so many things to learn still.i have this effin grammar quiz *it is actually 50% of our assessment* wtfuuuuuuu! i hate this effin type of tests. i mean, susah okay. im not that good in grammar.so i have to be like those kanak kanak spm yang stay up to study. but here i am now blogging talking about what matters the most.

im torn in two. i miss those days when i was so passionate about being a designer, having my own studio and growing old with things i love to do.now im stuck with things i love, English. but not as much as how i love arts and designing and those things.i scared if i'll leave this course. kau gila. i'll owe the frigging government my life. banyak kot nak bayar. i'll shed tears of blood.dammit. im scared.

somehow

2011-08-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

two days ago, i went home to breakfast with family.on the way back, mum called auntie yam, who's family's friend. her daughter who's kak aisyah's age is not well.she's schizophrenic.auntie yam said that maisarah refuse to talk to anybody and would be alone.i guess its depression.its sad to kno a family friend is going through such thing.mum was so worried.she said she wants to visit them.

i read something about schizo once, but i could hardly remember the details. so searched for it again,i guess maisarah is having Catatonic schizophrenia. maisarah wont talk and she wont respond. but she knows how to organise herself.

i remember the day i met her at kelana jaya.it was waayy back then. we were little girls.we fought over a doll.can we bring that girl back?

time of the year.

2011-08-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

i know its been a week since 1st ramadhan.happy fasting people.i went to bazar ramadhan at kerinchi.its sad that i miss terendak's environment.sahur there.it was purely awesome.and buka puasa with homeroommates was the best off all :) E5B was the coolest akaks and abangs ever! and i miss going to bazar with papa and ecah and i cant remember who else.yeah.naik myvi putih papa. and now E1B macam takde homeroom teacher yang awesome macam papa.i mean homeroom teacher mana yang belanja you karaoke kan? now that papa dah pindah tawau. i hope he's happy and akan dapat anak soon enough.
here in college, life is a bit messed up. i turn up to be a moody person. i miss the "me" i used to know in sky bridge :) i miss ti'a :) i miss the adorable girl who would jump when she's put at sky lobby when everyone else will be sighing. i miss the girl who dont know how to be sad sampai bila down sikit je semua orang tegur.i miss the girl who smiles a lot and laughs out loud.where is that girl? it's not that i don't enjoy it here. i love the subjects and friends and roommates especially.but i suddenly question my self this morning,"why am i here? do i really want this?am i really passionate about teaching?" im sick of having this feelings. i mean, i shouldn't have regrets.i've made my decisions. i cant simply go back.

i texted iylia petang tadi. she replied. i miss buka puasa-ing with E5B.i dont like some people's mentality here.SOME.i mean,how are you going to educate if you yourself criticize.and it is not even a building criticism.imagine people. look back to what you have said to me.

eima.

girls, i miss you guys badly :'(

wish list

2011-08-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

ABAH I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS.

i want a holga pretty pleaseee :)

look what you've done

2011-07-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

sunday morning and the rain is falling.im curling up in my comforter.crying. ma i miss you.am a piece of emotional shit.

im listening to jet, and am crying again. too many people going away.truth be told im a freak cause i always have a hard time letting go of people.ma, im sorry.and 06214.im sorry too.

everyone is so far away.

bayu terendak

2011-07-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

That girl, yang tudung pink tu, yang buat peace tu :) cun kan?

surau terendak. now dah ada air cond yaww :D

on our way to terendak. uncle huzaidy drives sho fast :D

well, im simply putting this cause i look kurus :D

meet miss liana, my english teacher when i was in form 5 :)

a teacher and a friend :)

Ustzh Adibah :) i miss her.

my favourite physic teacher :) taught me since form 1.

hello and may peace be upon you.

these pictures are from aliya's camera :D saya curi curi je. i have so many people to thank.especially aliya and family.terima kasih sebab kasi saya menumpang.i miss terendak's environment. as in the breeze.it's different you know.macam yang abang rudy kate, angin terendak.it's somehow peaceful.i didnt realised that until im out of school.

it was papa's last day and terendak.he'll be teaching in MRSM tawau after this. i bet he'll be missing e5b badly. we're like the BEST!

i saw miss aza talking to darnial as soon as i stepped into bangunan akademik.then i saw miss liana who actualy screamed and loncat *i think the one yang loncat is me* then mdm hanita and sarah and then mula lah aku lupa. tapi memang ramai teachers and then they are all touched that i actually take perguruan.and ust wahab kept on repeating "hi cikgu" to me. he was so excited.i love seeing my teachers like that. eeee comelnye ustat :) and cikgu hafizah pun panggil i cikgu and hugged me real tight :') sedih la. i miss cikgu hafizah. i dreamt of her night before. she was and still our mama.and madam rudi ajak pegi rumah dia. but i cant go since im with aliya kan.and saeed said that he kindda expect me to be an english teacher since he said " kau ada rupa dan gaya". and friends are awesome. i mean. i nearly cried because i missed them so much and i wish to turn back time.

highschool is the best part of my life.it taught me everything i need to know.

eima.

hi ,i am truly sorry.

2011-07-30T05:53:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

hi 06214. im facing the same problem again.kenapa girlpreng orang nak jealous dengan i? apa salah i? im definitely innocent.
im sorry i nagged you about her. when obviously i should not.i know, its your life,your choice.okay my bad.

im sorry i bothered you about these small petty things.ignore me, but i still tell you all these crap. you really should be proud of it.i mean, you are that important that i actually bother to tell you this and that :)

im sorry girlprengg baru jealous. so lepas ni mesti dia tak kasi you jadi my best advisor :(

bonjour dear.i vous manquez.

2011-07-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i miss these two awesome monsters :) mr. MK and ms. AH :) it's been a while since i meet MK since someone is in matriks.and tangkak somemore.how am i suppose to meet him kan? and AH is just sekentut away. UM je brada :) can always meet but point is she's always busy. yelah asasi sains hayat.yang aku ni TESL je.

anywayyy i miss these awesome people :) i love you people :D meet you this friday aliya sayangg :)

because someday you'll know.

2011-07-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i just miss writing love posts.i dont know. i just... miss.just now, X texted me, saying that it was you all along texting her.and she figured it out earlier. come on love, who are you trying to fool? she was someone to you once.someone very important.

you know, in relationships, trust is very important.she needs to trust you.and i am just saying.because.well, first of all.yeah.the very reason im writing this post. jealousy.second.you know its not right to bother someone who was once with you and you actually told her you need her help in your relationship.dear, i definitely understand how bad you might need the help. but why her? *okay, why not me?*enough. sometimes i just dont understand why this thing happened between us ended badly.because we promised each other to remain friends no matter what happened.but i guess we're both liars.living our own dreams.remember how funny late night calls would be? i missed that.i missed talking on the phone, sharing dreams and laughing our heart out.it was the perfect ending of the day.look at us now. we are strangers.i bet you dont even know my name now.because you said you've forgotten everything.facts are hard to swallow.love, i wonder if you still remembr me.because forgetting is not in my dictionary.

eima.

im sorry i suddenly missed you and i wish you're reading :'(

07252,yes its for you.

allergies.

2011-07-21T03:34:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you people,

how are yaa beautiful people?pretty as always kann. eh for sure lah <3

anyway, its friday tomorrow, im not looking forward to next friday :'( sobs sobs, people, please pray that im stronger okay ? :)

anyway, met abang amir and akak kat yesterday at amcorp. yay! abang amir belanja dinner, which means, my money tak terusik and yay! selamat fulus aku :D and akak just got back from sabah 2 days ago, she bought me this pearlie thingy bracelet. terharu sungguh :')

cantik takk? i like it :D

anyway people.homework today macam menimbun.and thinking skills is like freaking annoying i feel like crying =.= i dont understand a thing, and i cant concerntrate in class. can you imagine how annoying that is? nak nangis gile.

am not looking forward for next friday.but happy to go to melaka, i miss school :)

hi, i miss you

2011-07-18T17:58:00.000-07:00

hey people. i miss my school and my closest guy friend :)

the thought of him suddenly came into my mind and i texted him using my maxis number. sedih okay dia marah sebab he didnt recognise ze number =.=

anywayy, yeah people, i miss you a lot. im looking forward to 30th july :)

eima

good morning love

2011-07-18T17:18:00.000-07:00

hello and goodmorning love :)

its tuesday morning! we dont have ict class since mr khalish is not around :)

and and my classmates are creating a group in facebook for our class.cool kan? ehee :) since some of us. *me actually* malas nak join yahoo group. so, we decided buat something more convenient.which is facebook group :)

ramadhan is so near. i miss having sahur in maktab and having buka puasa with homeroom.papa is going to transfer to mrsm tawau.thats sad :( i'll be going to maktab this 30th. and i wish to meet these wonderful people.how is ramadhan in IPBA people? can somebody tell me? and my birthday is going to be before cuti :) eheeee people lets celebrate :)

anyway, i got english studies works to do :) bye!

eima

hey baby :)

2011-07-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

hey hello hi may peace be upon yew peeps :D

i got homeworkss.yeah thats right.HOMEWORKS baby! i know i know, i hated homeworks since like...FOREVAH! and yes i am now trying my hardest to complete this shizz T^T pity yew lil thingy. azimah, imagine when you are already a teacher, and your student said " hek eleh ticerr, homework ticer tak menarik lansung.tak payah ah buat.semak jewr" *xcuse moi for ze rempits-ness cause ya know , kids these days are using crappy language.sedih saya sebagai seorang future guru bahasa*

any how who where, this 30th i'll be going to terendak.hopefully.insyaAllah.with aliya and family. untunglah best student masuk dewan budiman.yang aku ni masuk PSP jaga kanak-kanak seperti PRS though my time is over.zamaigad.i miss school T^T i miss breaking ze rules.and i know teachers miss seeing me sleeping in ze classes since i am a very cute and nice student though pemalas gila tak siap homework.usah di ungkit cerita lama.today.this very mintue.this very second, i am a good student of IPBA. the one who will colour the future of ze next generation.

wait.

me?

yes you!

oh okay then. me :)

and lately, i've been feeling ugly.lepastu rasa bosan dengan the song in the blog.zamaigad. soo ze old fashion. so i changed ze song. CLARA C y'all ! yes baby! its clara c heartstring. rasa comel loncat terbang! ehh back to ze topic. i felt ugly. FELT. and syireen said i look like akak ni. this petty akak who is also a volunteer in petrosains yang sumpah lawa gila memang i dont lie i die lah :D *exagerating because she's saying i look like ze akak* okay so i feel pretty now and forevah! *i feel pretty playing*

anyway, people, i miss blogging.i really do. i miss talikng about how ze visitors in skybridge today. i miss telling you guys that i had fun woking. i miss telling you guys that subway hari ni ramai so i ate dekat mesra instead of signature and had subway for dinner and that is while lepaking with megat,zamri,fatin,famira,affan,nabil,erin,hawa,kak ju. oh oh oh and i miss lepaking after work with hawa :') its already one month not working.i miss naik high speed elevator ze most. cause here in ipba,in 41 secs, you only travel up to 1 floor.sho sad ain it?

goodnight lav <3,

eima.

my super wonderwoman mom :)

2011-07-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you :)

i have been writing essays for a few weeks. and im already tired of it.as in really tired.but it was enjoyable being in IPBA. memang la.everyweek balik. and sometimes on weekdays i go out with ma, so tak rindu rumah pun :)
anyway, im actually here to talk about ma :) the best mother in the whole wide world :) 2 weeks ago, i was nagging ma, bila nak beli laptop niiiii. assignment dah melambak =.= lepas tu she was like. okay okay this wwekend. tiba tiba terus dapat. that day i was nagging her to buy me a dictionary, esok tu terus dapat. syira said ma is so efficient :D i know rite? sebab tu lah lahir nya anak dia yang cantik lagi bijaksana dan baik hati ni :D eheeeeee

ma, thank you for eveghi thing

eima

empty threats.

2011-07-10T23:11:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i have not stop bllogging. i am just too busy to update, or maybe i have run out of ideas.anyway, life have been great, just that there are times when i feel like breaking down, but just can't.i need strength,even just to cry.

im here in my classroom, when all my classmates are taking pictures and laughing their heads off. yet im sitting in a corner,writing this crap.and trying so hard to pour my heart out.i wasn't that strong back then.and still, i am not strong enough now.i've got issues with my self.

and im thinking if i can go through this studies. i mean, i love english, but how am i suppose to live being a teacher? am i good enough to teach a child.whatmore children.i am responsible for whatever those kids do.am i good enough to change perceptions?am i reliable?am i that responsible?

eima.

questions with no answer.

you know this is sick

2011-07-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i have tons of works to do.but still, i cant help it but to waste time. i feel like crying today.like crying really hard. this is depressing. i cant handle my own emotion.how am i supposed to be a teacher?

i was so vulnerable. i easily get hurt today. i am very sensitive. and i got angry in a blink. i got so stressed up and its all a mess :(

eima.

I will miss you. And your very slow typing... and your very bad driving.

2011-07-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

its my second week in college, im shoooo proud of my self :) but i have been going back home every weekend.since si pemalas ni tak nak basuh baju dekat rumah kediaman and would prefer to use house washing machine :) *sorry guys, im may not be your choice of future wife.

and i swear i have been missing terendak. i planned to go to melaka on 30th july with dearest aliya.memang tak layak pegi hari anugerah, but since everyone planned to meet up there, i guess they should count me in :) almost every thing in IPBA reminds me of terendak :) and and and im sho glad that im free-er than ever to go out anytime :D hehehehehe

anywaaaaayyyyy :D i gotta go, im not very sure why, but lately, i dont have stories to tell,

jee made a statement,"takpelah, sem 2 aku dah tak freshie :) aku ice blended :D"

eima :)

dusty.

2011-06-29T06:04:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

it's almost my second week here in IPBA :) its fun.great classmates,cool roommates,and awesome environment :D i missed skybridge and i wish to join science scout. sad? yeah, but well im happy here :) yesterday i slept late just because i need to finish my assignmet,and i sho proud of my self. like, i never submit my homeworks when i was still in school =.= hahahaha.

anyway, its a busy day, im really tired. bye people :D

eima

the lost soul.

2011-06-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

there's this girl with a dream, but she don't know where to start.she tried to find strength in herself everyday,but she fell every time.she found friends along the way.but only some stayed with her.she wanted to believe in herself every day,but instead insecurities believed in her.she tried to make things right. but it always turns bad.she wakes up every morning, with tears in her eyes.she told herself to be strong but still she cry.

im sorry people, things happened. and i just feel quite emotional today.could crying be the best medicine ?

azimah sharipuddin.

four beautiful days

2011-06-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

all my bags are packed, im ready to go, im standing here out side your door, im ready, im so lonesome, i could cry.

hello and may peace be upon you
fours days, before i actually start studying in IPBA, bye guys, im off to college :) my bags are all packed, but i think i left the details, but its okay, rumah sungguh dekat.today, i was busy photocopy-ing some stuff and forms.i seriously think that government should contribute to save the trees campaign.payah den nak mengisi =.=
i was so excited to go.this morning, i gave fatin a wake up call, she said that i kindda wake her up, and that makes me her life saver since i woke her up for class and she's not late for class.weehoo! yay me! yesterday i kept on repeating fatin's name, i swear fatin terbatuk like crazy kalau dia tau and like " awww eima, yuu arr shooo shweett :')"
okay now im actually freaking out cause i think i have nothing to talk in my blog, and seeing the last time i actually posted something, i say, this is like something seriously weird and sick, WHERE HAVE ALL MY WRITING SKILLS GO?

pffft, so yeah, i now can actually detect an autralian when i saw one, hahaha since kai-joy-and-diane's incident, im actually quite very fond of australian, they're very friendly.haha nasib dorang tak ajak balik aussie, mesti dah ikut :D and and and semalam ada nigga kacau =.= memang aku ni muka mangsa eh?
anyway, its sho sad that last week was my last week with science scout, i mean, qis was sho nice and excited about seeing me again and stuff, tapi kesian, it was my last day, and how the heck am i gonna ever meet aqmar,adlina and iman lagi :'(

enough crapping, i need some sleep :)

eima

friends for life :)

2011-06-12T05:12:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you :)

meet azureen, my very best pretty girlfriend.been there for me since 2006 and still there always.i went to UPM with mr mum just now sebab we wanted to meet each other so bad since haritu tak jadi jumpa sebab nigga gila tu.*curse you nigga!*
we had mee rebus for lunch and maid pulpy tropical juice and moist choc cake and fruit. haha terliur tak? i cant believe sebenarnya we are all growing up, zureen is finally going to egypt. for 6 years, she took a video of me.konon konon amanat terakhir :P haha i cried at the end. cam haremm:P hahaha

azureen, i'll be missing you :')

to whom it may concern.anybody,everybody.

2011-06-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

Dan: Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy, Hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that is a tough one. Sometimes people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. We're all afraid of something. I was afraid, i was dying. But in the face of great despair, i had an epiphany........... What i have done is who i am. But what i have done is not who i will be. Its been nearly 37 million seconds 10,000 hours, 14 months................. Since i realized what i have done is not who i can be. Unburden yourself from the mistakes of the past. And when you do, your heart grows stronger, i should know. Mine was supposed to go out long time ago. But it doesn't mean that what you have done is forgotten and what you have done remembers.

-one tree hill

hello and may peace be upon you :)

for all the mistakes i've done,im sorry.i'll try not to do the same mistake again.i'll promise to be better.and i wish you'd do just the same thing.afterall, we are humans,and it written in the blood,we human make mistakes.we are not perfect.

eima

because you and me, we are not a story.

2011-05-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

past few days, i have been really moody.like really moody. why on earth should i bother about these crazy nonsense.

love comes unexpectedly.

have a taste of your own medicine.

2011-05-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

one day, at mcdonald's times square.

eima, orang yang ikut nafsu ni macam orang yang bawak anjing, they say they bawak their anjing jalan jalan, but you tengok balik, diorang bawak anjing jalan jalan ke anjing diorang bawak diorang jalan? anjing diorang bawak diorang kan? so anjing disini kita ubah pada nafsu.bodoh kan orang tu?

hello mister,
please terasa.and please say sorry. the word sorry would at least cool me down.you dont know how much i hate you now. went to VMU, saw your name. you ticked for tuesday, wednesday and thursday. well dude, if you are working on thursday, you are save, i am not working.bad news if you are working on tuesday and wednesday.i'll definitely kill you with my laser eye and my words.you'll be sorry.and you'll be wishing you didnt do what you just did.i guess you are messing with the wrong girl.what you did is effing wrong.i just want to hear you say sorry and mean it. i mean i went all the way to sg. wang to check your effing harmonica and like ohmigod! im like the nicest (and stupid) girl ever to be doing that for you.you should be really thankful.

remember,orang yang ikut nafsu tu bodoh.therefore, you, mister,are stupid too.

eima.
see you when you wash my car.

2011-05-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

my heart is not a toy you can play with.

thank you for being such a jerk. for a minute i thought i mean something, but i was obviously wrong.06214 would just say i told you so, zureen would be pissed i know, hawa will me extremely angry.boy, you dont know how stupid you are.

3 minutes phone call, enough to break this fragile heart.thank you so much, im glad i deleted you from my facebook.i was right when i thought this is too good to be true.because things never will be this easy.

you are demanding, you should die.

eima

baby blue eyes.

2011-05-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.
TENGOK MATA DIA TENGOK MATA DIA TENGOK MATA DIA TENGOK MATA DIA :D

when the doors are closed.

2011-05-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

its like my quiet days in skybridge.me and me alone. the night i found out its going to be famira's last day, i cried. like REALLY cried.sape nak teman me to toilet, who the hell is going to have lunch with me? jamie said boleh bising but not too much T__T taknak kawan jamie. told 06214, as usual, he, being the big brother, suruh grow up and all. gosh you really dont have my idea of friendship is it? i hate people to leave me, but somehow, its okay if i leave. it sounds selfish, pffhhtt i know know, #facepalm.

i mean, i knew famira fatin izham affan emkay zamri and few other for t like few months but we're like tight.like really tight! i called fatin masa pagi before keje asking how life and whatnots.

bukti kan? OMG i like miss her like damn much, lepas tu famira pulak nak tinggal kan i =.= sampai hati semua orang. but when i thought of it again and again, i have to be fair, i'll be leaving soon, takkan i nak biar semua orang stay while i be who i want to be, this is not my world, its ours. we deserve to be who whe want to :') guys i love youu.

one month mission

2011-05-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

a transformation
let's hope for a change :)

spilling secrets.

2011-05-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

i wonder if you will ever know.

excited-ness

2011-05-23T04:17:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

i had a pre tour to IPBA with mr.mum after visiting mr mum's friend.the hostel looks...um...live-able. *how am i going to live? *chill bro, rumah dekat.ape ape hal you just jump into the train *grins*
i called kak dyla, my senior in terendak, she's in IPIK. mengajar PJ.*alah coolnye kalau ajar PJ,boleh kurus.
was talking about stuff that matters in IPG.studies and co-curricular activities.and hello world, welcome to sekolah yang seronok :) no ugly school rules seperti dulu.*ehheem, those rules are cute and funny and fun to break :D
my breaks will be just like school breaks. *cikgu, cikgu,sabtu ahad pun cuti eh? hihii. omg im just so excited.

can't wait can't wait :D

eima
*let's start inspiring!

sedih pulak.

2011-05-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

another post early in the morning i have too many things to say.

i called kiera just now, she's on her way to melaka.she's about to register for uni. UiTM lendu.mass comm.i'll miss her gedik sakan.her manja manja.her lawak bodoh.she's awesome and crazy.oh god im crying again.

i was reading johan's blog.he said he'll be gone for a while, bro, kau bukan hilang for a while. like berbulan la bro.tiba tiba sedih sebab tak pegi jengka.sebab nanti tak jumpa johan.tak jumpa ecah. tak jumpa g-ha.tak jumpa mira jamalullail.tak rasa hidup uni.tak rasa hidup susah kat jengka.itu lah azimah, kau doa sangat nak jauh, bila tuhan kasi kau hulu, kau merungut.ni tuhan kasi kau IPG sekentut away from home pun kau merungut.ini lah manusia.tak pernah puas.hari tu sampai pening kepala nak pilih IPG ke UITM.dua dua pun course seronok. mungkin murah rezeki aku.alhamdulillah.syukur la azimah. tapi sedih sangat.i didn't get to leave kuala lumpur tercinta and i didnt get to travel.ma said, i can only study overseas once im doing my masters, which is like 10 years lagi. i am thirty by then.i'll be old. and i'll have kids keliling pinggang.and i'll have more commitments. Ya Allah, tolonh lah campak azimah ke tempat yang jauh sikit dari kuala lumpur lepas ni. i want to be independent. its sad that others get to live in the outskirts of kl while i dont. i mean, i love kuala lumpur but i just wish to study somewhere else. sedih bila ecah,g-ha,jo,mira, and few others are going through MDS, while im at home sipping my hot chocolate while watching DVD-itu tipu. oh my god, i want to go through that too :(

lepas ni masuk IPG, dah tak guna 06129.lepas ni guna number lain. 06129 will remain as beautiful memory sealed with a kiss :)

eima

tale of friendship.

2011-05-20T18:46:00.001-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

its 21st may 2011, the day i was suppose to register at UiTM jengka, instead, we went to mamak early in the morning to have breakfast and celebrate ma's birthday :)

i woke up this morning with the urge to cry. we've known for few months but the bonds between us are strong.today, some of us will be somewhere registering for uni,pursuing their dreams.while some of us just wait for the opportunity to come.i texted fatin,zamri and famira.fatin left for UTP on last thursday, yet im already missing her.no more fooling around at skybridge.no more silly jokes.i miss her. and today, zamri will be a uni student,at penang.sad.no more eshol moments.no more lepaking around after work.no more stupid arguments.i'll miss that.im sure. and now theres just me and famira.tempat bermanja.tempat bergelak ketawa,tempat nak share silly french accent.kalau nanti masuk IPBA, famira pun dah takde.this is sad.

i cried in the morning,knowing how bad i'll miss these wonderful people.how these few months changed my life.this 23rd, no more affan,emkay and few others.they'll be in matrix. of course we'll still meet up, but wont it be different? when you have some other friends, and some other priorities? some how, i believe, that here will be awkward moment when we're in a new environment, and certain things reminded us of how we are and what we used to do.

after going back from mamak,i glanced at klcc which is just belakang rumah.86, i'll soon miss you :'(

zamri said "takpe meone,we will still meet again.all of us.and we will never forget you.nama eshol khas untuk kau"

famira said "i'm done crying malam fatin's dinner.and i mimpi fatin,zamrisemua last night.not good"

god,im already crying :(
guys, promise me foreverfriends?

eima

goodbye UiTM

2011-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you ,

GOOD NEWS! i got an offer for tesl at IPBA :D like duhh mesti mau! hawa and zureen was like the first to know :) alhamdulillah, murah rezeki though my results were not that good.

i was hoping to be somewhere outside kl, but i guess lembah pantai was the only place i could go.hawa was excited that i finally chose the course that i am really looking forward to :) awhh terharu lah saya :) and im so glad azureen will be in UPM for 7 weeks then she'll fly off to alexandria.i mean, yay! im gonna miss her and all, but, we've gotta grow up, ma said people come and people go :) takpe, masih ada si barbie saya di sini :)

hey peopleee im gonna be a teacher! sila hantar anak anak awak belajar dengan saya! especially awak tu 06214, hahaha si 09595 dan si deskmate saya pun boleh jugak,ran sudah cop saya sebagai cikgu anaknyaa :P ma kata kalau nak jadi cikgu, be a teacher like cikgu ven .banyak pahala dia tu,baiklah ma.

sebenarnye masih lagi runsing memikirkan kenapa dapat kat lembah pantai je.ya tuhaannn, dekat nyeee! anyways, thanks a lot to, nenek,bibik,ma,kak halimatun yang belikan pin,hawa,zureen,pn faridah from IPG kota bharu,and friends from work who believed in me - i think this is starting to sound like grammy award speech :P

bye beautiful peole :)

eima :)

happy teachers day.

2011-05-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

for 18 years i have been living, those people who we called teacher means a lot to me. dari tadika kemas(4 years old) to my last school MRSM Terendak(17 years old).sure, they taught me subjects they're suppose to, but they also taught me life, so far, i know that life is always about struggling to be the best and always be comfortable in your own skin.for past 5 years, i have been living in a bording school, teachers are the one who would take care of you.it's like they're our parents,its unexpress-able to tell you how lucky we were.all the teachers were oh-so-great.they never give up on us,they believed in our capabilities.i would spent hours talking to my english teachers :)cikgu sahar buat kelas addmaths starting from 6 am,i think thats a big effort.mdm rohila would spent weekends with us revising biology,cikgu hafizah worked hard to teach me BM-i think she's awesome :) not to mention other teahers who struggled to teach the rest of us,specifically me who's always headstrong.and i am so thankful that i have found such great teachers :)

when i was in primary school, my best subject was always english(it's still my favourite subject till now).i can still remember staying afterschool at the bilik guru with teachers haslinda's place.or beautiful sunday morning spent in class with teacher azwana for english class.and science was always exciting, because i have a great science teacher,pn rahimah :) as for other subjects, it's way awesome that those teachers remember me, because, hey, im not the only student there, my primary schooldays was the greatest.i have really awesome teachers back then.i mean, whats with the kelas malam and weekend class? untungkan?

i was in 3 kindergarten before.tadika kemas in taman cempaka,tadika bijak and tadika al-hidayah.trust me, these three places are different yet so great.i can remember all the memories being in the school.tadika kemas is like opposite my house, so if i need to go to toilet, i would just go home,*dari kecik memang dah nakal* and tadika kemas, we had to dance lagu hindustann,cikgu zura ajar :) tadika al-hidayah is where i started to be ganas. haha i played with boys, and yeah, i bruised my eyes and my ustazah tuam kan mata bengkak tu :)

teachers are awesome people, and i am so inspired to be just like them, happy teachers day and keep on inspiring hearts! i love you guys<3

azimah sharipuddin.
*i miss arts classes :')

attached :)

2011-05-15T07:15:00.001-07:00

15th may 2011.

leaving petrosains as a full time volunteer.this is sad.i'll miss the great times i went through :)

went for the interview with erin and emkay :) waited for aliya. it was the sweetest :) emkay, remember stay beautiful? it was like a soundtrack of our interview pulak :)
went for VOP. *good food* and, day 1 :strangers , day 3 : friends , day 5 : good friends. different people from different backgrounds.this is one great memory, ILOVEYOUGUYS<3
OJT at skybridge,hell yeah thats my department :) it was fun! i found friends and great experience :) and i gain confidence, i mean talking to big groups are not a problem for me anymore,miss liana should be proud of me :D
i get to be on level 86 and 41 for freeeee! ye lah, im the volunteer kan :) i love my job like seriously :)
chit chatting with friends after work.im def gonna miss this, i mean,you guys are sooo supportive, sure we have our ups and downs, but yeah, friends are forever.you guys are there when i need you, awwwhhh thats just amazing that you guys barely know me and yet you guys offered a shoulder to cry on :)
desa water park, was the fun-est thing ever,i mean, whats not to love? rite?

guys, you are not just colleagues,but friends :) sedih la tengok syaza nangis arinah nangis semua kan, ye lah, after this, we're all going different ways, so its like goodbye for now, we'll meet again.sem breaks ade kan? plus bila tak kerja doesnt mean we cant meet eachother kan?

i'll surely miss this, french moments with famira,workshop with affan,manglish sesh with fatin,saying i wuvv you to izham,eshol moments with zamri and syaza,pashmina moments with ecah,sesi bercerita dengan megat,barbie moments with hawa, karaokeing with iesy and arai and dayah,VOP dec and just working with you guys made my life happier than ever, :)

lepas ni, bila sedih tak boleh lari klcc and jumpa emkay, when im having my PMS there wont be fatin telling me she's going through the same thing and there wont be abg hafiz asking me "ti'a sakit perut eh?" there wont be people calling me ti'a like abg hafiz,there wont be angry visitors, wont be any hangouts after work,wont be any syaza to give me tron band,wont be any zeni to belanja rotiboy,wont be any erin to layan perasaan,wont be any hawa to be my crime partner 24/7 ,wont have syaza and zamri to call eshol,won't be any ecah and pa'e to teach me to wear pashmina ala yuna,wont be any megat to ajak karaoke,wont be any lovely days of laziness to work,wont be anyplace like petrosains :)

i wuvv you guys :')

eima

like bro :D

2011-05-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

post target : 06214.
*tak salah kan i hafal number maktab you?
cause, well, you dont have a girlfriend to chase me with a penyapu just because i did :P
sorry farah, i did it again :)

ehem, sila dengar si cantik jelita nak bersyarah :)

hello 06214.

i still remember i called you every single time a jerk (like 07252) broke my heart.you were like the superb-est person ever.and like, i turn to you everytime im down-also when when im up up in the sky.isnt that right mr 07252? i always mention about 06214 kan kat you? i really hate to exagerrate, but hell yeah, the coolest guy though you kindda annoy me most of the time, but sometimes, when you are too busy to talk,you still talk LOL. you sir, *pointing on your nose* have the craziest and most brilliant ideas about how to survive myself.im a trainwreck okay.im pretty much aware of that.

and now that im finally all grown up, and im about to enter uni, you're like being the big helper like you always have been. (i mean, whats with all the information about jengka anyway-sumpa saya terharu) and yeah, i started to see things like how you always tell me to. brilliant sungguh anda 06214.

06214, not having a girl means you can actually enjoy without finding yourself already commit to something crazy.sure, its fun being with somebody,but who says being single is not cool? it just make you look flaming HOT! :D
*i know, you dont mind not having a girlfriend but i just write this for fun :)

eima
*yo bro, thank you kerana melayan perangai gila si cantik jelita ini :)

2011-05-08T21:09:00.000-07:00

i believe it was more than that.

hearts and miscommunications,

2011-05-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

tak susah pun nak senyum :)

07252,
its not that i hate you, but i just have to stay away. but i would love it it if we are still friends,i mean, you were a great company, supportive and all. trust me, she's lucky to have you :)

this is for you :)
believe me, im trying so hard to erase these memories.

eima

bukan senang, tapi bukan susah.

2011-05-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

exactly!nothing..i made mistake 4 givng u da bear..if u think it is special..it is not actually..nothing..make it clear..ok

07252, im sorry, saya bodoh dan emosi haritu. i made a mistake by saying iloveyou.

and it makes me smile.

2011-05-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

while i was busy working just now, someone was doing research about jengka. and it touched my heart.it seriously did.i mean, at least i mean something to someone.and its really sweet of you to spend you precious time to find articles about jengka which me myself would never do. haha.
*clap clap* im so proud of you brother :D

and YOU, how on earth do you still know that im so not over you? hahah you are so funny, that you made me cry over the things you said.people are so right about you and how things are going to end.stupid foolish decisions.

encik kamal aizat, terima kasih lah blog tu. terharu sangat ni :) terima kasih for being there telling me 07252 is a jerk and i should've seen it from the start.

07252, kau memang wujud nak sakit kan hati aku je eh? sedih la wey, aku niat baik je nak kawan semula. kau memang anti kat aku kan?people make mistakes, i guess mine is just unforgive-able.is it?

two beautiful weeks.

2011-05-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

dear UiTM Jengka, please be prepared.
you are about to have a sick teenager who would sing in the shower and dance in her room when no one is looking.a funny girl who would giggle a lot.or maybe she would just laugh out loud.

hello and may peace be upon you.
im just scared. scared of growing up.scared of the fact that i'll be on my own in few weeks.scared of the fact that i depend on my self.so far away from home.i dont even know the way back home.i hardly go to pahang.how am i going to learn to live :'(

so after this, no more movies,no more karaoke-ing with the greatest mates, no more working, no more shopping, no more facebooking, and i would rarely update my blog.sedih kan? im definitely going to miss home and kuala lumpur tercinta.and my friends at work and life after spm and before uni :'(

eima.

a new stage of life.

2011-05-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.
in 14 days, i'll be going to jengka.yes everyone, jengka pahang yang hulu tu. takpe, i'll get use to it.belajar dari mula.but, i will not be online till i get home, as in i dont know when the break is going to be. aaaahhh im just so scared. i could cry.
tiba tiba tegur si JR , dan dia pun telah di campak kan ke jengka.secara tak lansung, DAH ADA GANG! though jo dapat course lain, but who cares, satu tempat. yay yay yay!

so guys, siapa dapat uitm jengka? tell tell tell :D i could use somebody. *nada kings of leon* sedihnyaa, lepas ni tak kerja, tak jumpa orang dari negara lain. tak jumpa orang orang col lagi.saya duduk kat ceruk.adeiiy.tak sempat jumpa hawa :'( kesian lah saya :( lepas ni tak ada orang lah nak belanja saya waffles, nak teman saya pergi toilet,nak teman saya lepas habis kerja.kena cari orang baru. lepas tu, impian untuk ke melaka untuk berjumpa si bestfriend pun tak kesampaian.sedih, kata nak shopping dengan si best friend.azuree, dia kena buat skype.sebab nanti saya rindu dia sangat.ohmygod.imcrying! kthxbai.

eima :'(

p.s. kamal kata i am so used to live dekat hulu.sukehatikau je abang kan?

tahniah hati sedih

2011-05-06T06:23:00.000-07:00

dip. office management and technology.

hello and may peace be upon you,
i'll be taking office management.i think im a weird person.i have so many dreams and ambitions.yesterday i was so eager to be a teacher.and today, when i dot the UPU results, im certain that i'll be a proud owner of ID company again or maybe managing few events and..-there you go.
it'll be in UITM. and im not sure yet which campus.they say it'll be in melaka. well i dont mind.infact i kindda miss that place.5 years being there.i learnt a lot.minds.hearts.faces.
so memories, please stay away while im studying.i dont want you to come anymore.remember im suppose to get over you?

*anyway, if i get IPGM, i'll go for it.thenn bye UITM :D

eima

#something you should know

2011-05-05T04:51:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i thought you're long gone, you would suddenly say "hi" with the brightest smile.
:)

how could you?

2011-05-04T18:59:00.000-07:00

how could you go to bed, knowing in your heart and head, that you have ruined my reputation?

hello and may peace be upon you.
this post is due to deep frustration and anger.you told me i was suppose to go out with you and your friend.i said okay, but when you friends bailed, you make it looked like theres not gonna be anything.aahhhh great.SANGAT!

then, when i already have my own plans, there you go telling me we got plans and all. not right noooottt riighhtt! serba salah tahu tak?

happiness spreads like a disease.

2011-05-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,
im sooo happy that today im getting better.im no longer sick.and i got my polaroid cam that i have been dreaming to buy since last year :D esok akan camwhore macam gila lah tu. :D

im like soooo crazy, i called hawa during tea break. awh my gawd, rindu hawa ni! i mean, today was a moody day, lepas tu macam right after the incident pagi2 tu i called hawa, kak aisyah, hawa is like so like gila2, i swear im not lying.miss her number one.

then i wanted to text zureen, but my credits went low and so as my battery.kesian best friend yang sorang tu,rindu lah. i mean, lama lah tak jumpa as in lepaking together and like talking about life as if we got a clue, in the end, me kak lily and zureen keep on wall posting eachother :)

and i was having this long long long conversation with mr abang yang telah lama menghilangkan diri, but he suddenly popped up.i mean, ni lagi satu i miss alot. the conversation kat public phone which always end up with " eima ada org call la i gotta hang up"yes, my brother is a prime minister in his own world.as annoyed as i am, im still glad that he tried to be there as often as possible :D saya rasa dia ni orang paling cool yet perasan i have ever met.haha.

i have all the great people with me, why should i be worried of what life's about to give me?
i LOVE you guys a lot and a lot and alot!

some times, i feel the strength you tried to give me even when im far away :)

eima

permission to speak.

2011-05-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,
i spent my whole day at shah alam. as usual, i woke up late just because im not working and selsema caused me to laze around and doze back to deep sleep.*sigh*
mom came back from somewhere and rushed me to get ready to go to auntie mizah's place, got kenduri doa selamat.and so i lazily siap siap.*sumpah hari malas*

so after the keduri doa selamat and all, i nagged mom to leave me and dania's place. weehhoo! it has been years since i last came to her house.ailin husna, the little sister grew into a beautiful young lady. not to mention dania herself. pretty as a picture :) *aah bila saya nak jadi cantik macam mereka? *

then, on my way back from shah alam, i told mom and embarassing storyy that happened yearrrsss back. when i was only 4 years old. i cant still remember. weh malu. sorry taknak cerita :P

eima

yay!

2011-05-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,
people, i have been quite occupied these few days.right after the interview with IPGM, i found myself sneezing and coughing.kesian kan? lepastu demam :(
but despite all those patheticness, i still go to work.bersemangat and very happy.yesterday, i was helping kak qila and kak azni with science scout.serooooonnookkk. the kids are so cute.okay fine, hyper lah jugak.but still, kids are still kids, the cuteness never fades :) i heard them calling me teacher once or twice, weeeyyy terharu okay :')

then today, i was at skybridge.there was a group visit from IPG KB.i was talking to them, then the teacher asked me, about volunteering and stuff.then i told her,i went for the interview few days ago. then she was quite happy to hear it.it was a long conversation. but i would always remember this one line she said "i want you in IPG" yeay! suka lah :Dinspired gila :D

okay guys.ngantuk, i should really go, tomorrow duit masuk, and so excited for thursday, polaroid and dude, you know you got me hooked :D weeee!

eima

who would've thought

2011-04-29T03:42:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

29th april.someone turned into a princess.who would've thought, fairy tales do exist and hopefully happily ever after too.kate middleton found her prince, *sighs* me? hahaha. long way to go. oh em jayy! kate's dress is so modest yet sooo sexy! i love it. its so beautiful. and when they (will and kate) speak their vows, i was like awwhhhh :') my cousin was like " are you crying?" eh tidak la. tapi macam nak. cheers to kate and will :D

kate middleton,
you inspire me :) you proved that fairytales do exist.and dreams do come true. congratulations, im soooo happy for you :)

eima.

a promise kept till now.

2011-04-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

heyyy, you promise we'd be in paris. heh tipu lah kau ni =.=

so who cares?

2011-04-28T03:59:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

so do you care? do you? please read the picture. im not sure when i started calling my self belieber.bukan tak suka bieber, tapi .... ye lah dengar orang kata kann. loser jugak aku ni, because i didnt speak out what i like. sorry saya suka lagu bieber. mungkin anda rasa bieber cute.maybe adalah sikit.but then, still, i love "that should be me". its the song not the face not the hair. not the cuteness.the SONG people. sorry sorry. jangan la tak kawan dengan saya lepas ni sebab aya dengar lagu bieber. awak pun dengar lagu LADY GAGA kan? eh tolong...pppffffttt.
*tiup rambut di dahi*

eima.

hello crime partner.

2011-04-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you :)

guys, meet hawa, geng gossip lepas kerja, geng lepas geram, geng nangis, geng makan, geng movie, geng jaga boarding huru hara :)

si hawa adalah penasihat terbaik saya bersama azureen dan iqbal. she's from my workplace. sama VOP kan hawa? masa VOP dia ni diam, and i never talked to her back then. i think first time cakap was like the last day of VOP kat skybridge, and that was it. i thought she's just quiet and she dont talk to people, the only person yang dia ckp is nusi, who's also intern sama dengan dia that time and i never talk to him jugak dulu.*konon intern tu macam cool, so tak berani tegur.

we started hanging out masa the day i was suppose to be at melaka with my bestfriend. mak tak kasi, so i went to klcc instead, terserempak hawa then me, hawa and erin watched burlesque together.eversince then, rapat dgn hawa :)

hawa telah di anggap seperti kakak yang diturunkan darjat kepada kawan, but you know, still sisters :) she's currently at KK,doing something untuk anak bangsa. weh hawa rindu kau.kate nak teman aku beli dress =.=

eima

happy birthday bro :)

2011-04-25T04:14:00.001-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you.

its 25th april 2001.someone's turning 18 today :)
iqbal hisham best guy friend :)
yaaayyy! happy 18th iqbaaalll :) im so happy for you.
sorry im not the first one to wish you like last year. kalau kita kat maktab lagi, im sure i'll still be the first one.kita kan bestfriend :D heeee
alah bro rindu lah kauuu! ingat tak masa birthday kau aku selalu tanya,
"bal, lagi empat bulan kau nak kasi aku ape?"
lepas tu masa birthday aku kau terkoyakkan beg prep aku sebab kita main kejar-kejar kat BA masa prep and you were trying so hard nak tengok phone aku.
and now here we are, the last time jumpa was like result day which i only got to say "hey iqbal!" then we went our ways.serious thing bro, i miss you. rindu nak borak borak dengan kau. dengar stupid jokes kau.kau kan kawan lelaki terbaik. nanti datang lah sini,and redeem your gift :D hahaha

*i know you were waiting for my wish :D

eima

truth be told.

2011-04-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

dearest sister

2011-04-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Siti Aisyah Bt Sharipuddin.
15th april 1991

dear akak,
if you were still here,you'd be 20. and i would have a fabulous crime partner like everyone else in the world.i'd take your shoes and make it mine, i'd share gossips with you and talk about life and things that matters in the world.i'd cry in the middle of the night and you'll try to calm me down.because you know, you are the only sister i have it this world.i'll make a scene, and you'll take 100 % responsibility just because, you are my sister and you would do anything to protect me.

akak, i've lived my 18 years without you around, and each day, i wish you are here so that i can share stuff to the person i trusted most.you. because, we're going to be better than bestf riends, we're enemies sharing the same room and twins fighting for the same toy.i never get to know you akak, but i know its lovely if you are around :)

eima.

dusty.

2011-04-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

you smile.
and im 10 feet off the ground.
-21. 4. 2010 , those crappy moments in PSP

hello and may peace be upon you.

that quote, was created out of boredom.i was terribly still not over him back then.and looking back, i know i still haven't forget those things.but im glad, i move an inch away from it every day.

now, i could read it like

"gila lah kau eima! macam ni sekali kau kat dia! GO DAI!"

as pathetic as it seemed to be, these things are like disease.and i swear im not immune to it.i fall almost every time.i struggled to get up.with some help from friend, i manage to find courage and strength.thank you thank you and thank you friends.

shitto, terdengar lagu pujaan hati T_T

eima.

one way of escapism.

2011-04-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you,

life as we know it is full with memories and scars. and scars remain remember? well, as about memories, you'll easily forget it. *well, some.
one thing i learnt after reading this one book my mum bought,crying is one of the way to defend yourself (helah bela diri pasif) so in my words, escapism.

lets see it this way, i cry whenever things fall apart.just because i know its bad and i wanna feel better.so if crying makes me feel better, what about facing the reality? no, sure i would refuse. see, that is one form of escapism.

honey, no more escaping.no more tears. stand tall and be strong.because you know who you are and no one can put you down.

eima :)

...and i thought it ended

2011-04-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

months and years, it passed.it brought joy,happiness,laughter,pain and sadness together with it.i'll be a big liar if i ever say it was fine.it was not.unless sleepless nights and waking up with puffy eyes are common.i never know it will be like this.if only i can see it coming.but i didnt.it make me feel stupid to still keep stuff you gave me. so the teddy, i gave it to ean.i guess it was for the best.it was okay at a moment.but recently, so many things suddenly came running to me.it was all too much. i was not sure whether i can handle it or not.

remember when we used to text each other, and when i asked you what you were doing, you said you were staring at the moon.surprisingly, i was doing the same thing.that, somehow reminds me of dear john.when i come to think of it.i know i could cry.but i'll just be stupid and ignore. and those stressfull nights i have to go through at school.i'll spend all my money just to call you and tell you how bad it was.just by hearing you say "it's okay" soothed me. remember we promised to stay friends until the end.i guess i was the one who broke the promise.i wasnt that nice.i was harsh.i admit.i used to hug the teddy when these things happen.but no more teddy now.the last time i saw the teddy, it reminded me of you so much.i could breakdown and cry.but idint.because somehow, i know, you dont care anymore.

a normal human being with the thought of inspiring others.

2011-04-19T23:49:00.000-07:00

hello people. and may peace be upon you.
i have been reading history of education in Malaysia. and its all because of the interview.i havent' write a single thing on my surat penyataan hasrat.and yet nak rasa cuak seperti nak nangis.but iwe said the interview will be okay as long as i know my stand and im confident.putra said the same thing.i mean, this is really what i want to do. teaching and inspiring young hearts.help them to make decisions.yet me myself,is not sure if i have made a right decision. pening kepala baca sejarah pendidikan.i have to read fundamentals of inquiry modules pulak, kerana workshop akan dtg terpaksa faham semuanya.there will only be me, kiera and dee.oh lupa affan.

i think my school life have been really great.i could've make the most out of it.but because of my un-focusness, it all turned upside down. i wish i can share it with the whole world telling all the other guys who's still in school to enjoy their days.but still, focus. i guess being a teacher somehow mend my imperfect schooldays :) i get to teach things that i like and i get to show them what life really means. im not that old and wise, but so far, i have so many things to tell.

and now i realise, a teacher is still a person who makes mistakes. forgive them. awhh omg i love you teachers :)

eima

sometimes, maybe changing is the best option.

2011-04-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

we grew up knowing that we have each others back and believing that whatever happens we'll be there for each other.you knew me inside and out. i would say the same thing too.when it comes to feelings you'd always see it coming.but not me.its just unpredictable for me.and there you go, giving me wake up calls every time.i could never ask for a better friend than you.

then, time passed and changes both of us.its not like we wanted it.we remained close.but, there are certain things i realise, i cannot share it with you.because if i do, you just wont understand.and it breaks me to pieces that i cant tell you.i know you needed a best friend to be there for you just like how i needed you to be there for me every time.i admit i was acting all selfish.and i always put myself first.and i know its just wrong to call me a best friend just because i wasn't acting like one.

i am not blaming time, i am not blaming you. its me and im terribly sorry.friends again? :)

posts

2011-04-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

suddenly im not that important huh BESTFRIEND?

its time to grow up

thank you.

jar of hearts.

2011-04-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

hello and may peace be upon you. i have not been updating my blog properly.as what JR said, saya merajuk. no, tak merajuk pun. lately, time have been passing by so fast.things got so out of hand. im not even sure i can get through it.thank god hawa, si close friend ada :) sesi sharing selepas kerja sangat membantu. after the "incident" i think, its hard for me to find a person who really gets me, i mean, guys, it doesnt make anything right just because everyone else is doing it. i know my limits. i went overboard.im not sure if i can ever forgive my self for doing that.as a friend you should support me.not put me down. its like a slap in a face that you said that to me.because i trusted you, and we've been good friends for years.i cant believe you said that.all i really wanted you to say just "its okay, people make mistake" and instead, you said things that makes me despise my self even more.i guess people make mistakes.and you said the biggest mistake. those simple words made me cry.i lost my self confidence if that makes you happy.i know its not a big deal.but i have never betrayed my self before.call me an idiot for crying over some stupid sentences.but those stupid sentences came from you.

eima.

dear john :)

2011-04-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

i just finished reading dear john. i had to stop reading at certain parts because i know i'll be crying and i know i wont stop.but woohoo! i finished the book. i swear the story was hell sweet.but it got me so emotional. okay to be honest, i cried watching and reading a walk to remember, so reading dear john is just the same thing. i wanna try being savannah, she's positive, she always have good things to say about people,and she loves to help people :D that is just great :)

lies.

2011-04-04T21:58:00.001-07:00

i wont tell you i hate you, cause i dont. but i'll say ,i hate the things you did. i cant hate you

beautiful nightmare.

2011-04-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

hello people :) lets put up a fake smile and act as if nothing happened.if we take a glance, everything seemed to be normal, and okay.but let take a closer look, it was horrible and i wished to erase yesterday.what i did was so wrong.and i regret every single minute of it. A4, its wrong, and im so sorry i didnt tell you straight. i was enjoying it and i didnt realise, i was about to break my fragile heart. fairytales dont always have a happy ending do they? eima

beza hati dan naluri.

2011-03-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

hey hello people :) a collegue of mine asked me, apa beza hati dan naluri? *bunyi cengkerik* i know, it sounds just the same yet somehow, people see it as two different things.hati is more of perasaan and stuff, the emotional thingy. and naluri to me is more like instinct.but these two boleh kata kembar siam.without hati, there will be no naluri. and naluri comes from hati. same goes to chicken and egg. which one comes first?

awkward.

2011-03-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

hllo people, its a post about a friend,Mohd. haziq Aizat b Mohd. Yusoff . haha gila yang suka mencubit tak hingat punya -.- masa 12th anniversary ade katak atas muka. heee comel kan post ni? lepas tu bila silap eja nama dia nak demand buat post baru. haaa bagus sangat la tu. heee. bye gila :D

memories :)

2011-03-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

si gila, Aizat. haha hello people :D been a very long time tak update blog kan? johan mesti dah bising, sorry bro. haha. i have no interesting stories to tell, my life recently have been plainly boring. same old routine every day. haha o guys wait for next post :) ehm encik kamal aizat, i need ur address di terengganu.nak post barang ni. bye aizat gila :D